Smokey the Bear like coca-cola and McDonalds is a name recognized by many. However, unlike coca-cola and McDonalds Smokey is lying to us. I have taken it upon myself to unmask the hidden agenda behind the bear.

Accusation #1: Sure he claims to be against forest fires, but how do you think he got the nickname Smokey? Not to mention he usually appears in a picture with a wildfire behind him. He is like that odd kid in the playground who throws a rock at you behind your back and then calls the teacher because your head mysteriously collided with a rock. My theory is that he secretly starts fires to drive small woodland creatures from the forest into a trap. The creatures are literally stuck between a fire and a fury place. You don't become that big and hairy by eating leaves and berries.

Accusation #2: The only reason he volunteered for the position is so that he could be in many places at the same time. Think of all the prime real estate his "Only you can prevent wildfires" sign consumes in the numerous National Parks of this land. He understands that in the business of starting fires and eating fury friends it helps to be in many places at one time. Why move when you don't need to right? Smokey has won the hearts and minds of the Nation through his clever antics. Because of this he is the most powerful lobbyist in Washington. It is because of Smokey the Bear that so many people are overweight and fitness is not a priority for many. We have wrongly learned by example that convenience and laziness are the keys to freedom.

Accusation #3: How about the phrase "Remember, only you can stop forest fires!" Hold on a minute. Have you ever tried putting out a raging torrent of heat and destruction by yourself? If you have you probably know that it takes more than a super soaker in the hands of one incompetent citizen to do the trick. That phrase is hot with hidden agendas.

Accusation #4: he wears a hat and trousers! The last I checked the only bears who wear hats are those who eat people or are pretending to be a person so that they can hot wire your Hummer and drive into a crowd of rabbits. For some reason we have allowed Smokey to propagate throughout this land. Why does he receive special treatment? All the other bears who even come remotely close to humans are carted away in cramped steel boxes…

I am sure that you can think of many more reasons why Smokey the Bear is an impostor who needs to be brought to justice straightaway. Please write your reasons in the comments box so that we can all work together to bring some truly meaningful change to this world!